Kissing is easy. Marriage is hard.
Kissing is easy.  Marriage is hard.

Danielle & I have been married close to 8 years.  We have 4 kids.
We both absolutely love our lives together and could not imagine any better way of living.

Danielle & I have been married close to 8 years.
We have 4 kids.  It has been the hardest 8 years of our lives and never dreamed marriage could be this hard.

It may seem like those statements cannot co-exist, but the reality is that a good healthy marriage can and should be both of those statements from time to time.  Marriage is a process of unpacking and discovering the person you married.  The person you are currently dating is not who you will end up living with.  Little by little they will show you their true self and you will eventually realize you are living with a complete stranger who looks like the person you dated.  (I know I was on my best behavior as I “tricked” Danielle into marrying me.)

The thing that many people do not realize is that to have a healthy marriage you MUST change who you are, you  MUST change your behaviors and habits.  When you commit to live selflessly and give to one another it’s about a lot more than sharing a checkbook or mortgage.

You are committing to picking up the house when you would rather go out with your friends.

You are committing to staying up with a kid when you are tired.

You are committing to bringing in groceries when the game is on tv.

Marriage is a commitment that we commit to, but really don’t even know what we are committing to.  That’s why the preacher says through “good times & bad times.”  If he were to go into detail and describe every known marriage scenario to man, you would NEVER get a guy to stand up there and nod his head.  :)

OK, so you get it. But, why the buzz kill on this happy wedding photography blog.  :)  The reason is I want my couples to understand what they are getting into.  The BEST book Danielle & I read before we were married was a book called The Sacred Marriage.  It looks at marriage from the perspective of “What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?”

I cannot recommend this book enough.  You can get it at Amazon, Barns & Noble, your library.  You can even be lazy like me and get the audio book from iTunes. In fact, because we liked it so much, Danielle and I have both started re-reading this book recently.
Get it.
Read it.
Work really really really hard.
Live happily ever after.

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