The story of Sara’s recent haircut actually starts back when she was 7. When I would take the boys outside for their haircuts, I would often ask Sara if she wanted me to buzz her’s as well. She never really went for it. (Surprise)
From time to time through the years, I would bring it up and ask her if she would shave her head for 100 bucks. Again, no. How about 500? Nope.
Fast forward to earlier this month, when it hit me. I knew what magic carrot I could dangle in front of her. Back in 2013, Sara saved up her money to go on a cruise and LOVED it. She’s been wanting to go back ever since. :)
“Sara, I’ll make you a deal: If you shave your head, I’ll take you on a cruise.”
Her eyes lit up. I had her.
She spent the next few days thinking about it. Should she do it? Would she like it? Would she regret it? Would people think she was a boy? She made a list of pros and cons which included items like “faster showers”.
We also encouraged her to talk to other people and get their advice.
After doing all this, she was pretty set on moving forward. But still was not 100%.
The last time Danielle and I talked to her the conversation went something like this:
Danielle: So what are you thinking?
Sara: I really, really want to do it but every time I think about what other people will say, I get nervous.
Sara: But that’s not really a good reason not to do something. Is it?
What Sara didn’t not know is that right then and there I would have taken her on that cruise.
You see, the point was not for her to cut her hair. The point was for her to be willing to try something different. Something unconventional. Something that might make her feel left out. Think back to when you were in 11 years old. 5th grade. When all you wanted to do was NOT stand out. Danielle and I wanted to push her towards her strengths.
I know Sara is strong. I know she is fearless. I know she is a leader.
But I also know those muscles need to be stretched. They need to be worked.
I wanted her to learn at this younger age that she decides who she is. And start living it out now. It’s only hair. She is still herself.
She is not defined by a haircut.
Sara will spend the next 10 years learning and discovering who she is, but that journey should be built on the foundation of confidence in herself and her identity.
The sooner she learns and grasps that, the better off she will be.
It’s a concept we all need to learn.
You are not defined by a haircut.
You are not defined by how pretty your wedding is.
You are not defined by a job.
You are not defined by how well your kids behave.
You are not defined by your GPA.
You are not defined by how many likes you get. (Follow me on Instagram here.)
You are not defined by how big your house is.
You are not defined by if your newborn sleeps through the night.
You are not defined by a ring.
You have value and worth regardless of what your circumstances or what others may say about you.
This idea is one that I need to be reminded of daily. And it’s a truth that Danielle and I want Sara to lock onto as early in life as possible. Even if that means I need to take her on a cruise.